Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
