Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
