Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
