I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
