i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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