no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.