He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize