His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.