Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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