i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
