Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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