I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
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just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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