question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I could fuck to npr.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
