I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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