Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
