Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
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He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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