i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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