Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
i've created a new STD.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
