Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
