Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
