His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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