and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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