I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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