There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
