Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
