all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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