oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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