Farmville is her only friend.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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