some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
