Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
