three words: i give head
three words: not that well
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
