So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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