You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
