He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize