So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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