He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
