I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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