idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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