My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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