I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize