and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
