So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
