FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
