i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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