things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
