i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
