Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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