Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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