WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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