I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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