cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
