Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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