I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
