nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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