My hair reeks of homosexuality.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
