walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
In America we eat man semen.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
