i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
