ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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