idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
