u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
They took my balls.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
