so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
one two three fourrrrnication!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I smell like Dick and happiness
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I did not marry a roomba.
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