It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
