Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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