What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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