I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
