I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
