Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize