you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
