Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
