The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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