just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
