when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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