forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
