? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
