Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
